For Sale by Owner

Image by Still Unique Photography

Image by Still Unique Photography

Is there a big fat ‘For Sale by Owner’ sign plastered on my back? Yep, there it is! I thought I felt something weighing me down. So, it looks like I’ve put my self back on the market….again.

After a little chat with my real estate agent, it appears that I have been selling myself short. I’ve been under-valuing myself and under-rating my worth. I’ve been entertaining self-judgmental thoughts and comparing myself to others and coming up short of funds.   It also seems I’ve been selling my self off piece by piece. I have repeatedly compromised myself, to the point of sacrifice, in several areas. “When did this happen?” I asked. She replied, “Remember when you didn’t go to exercise class because your friend really needed to talk, and when, out of guilt, you agreed to work on a committee, and when you accompanied your sister to a Bunco party when you really wanted to stay home?” “Oh.” I said. According to my real estate agent, that’s not all. It appears that there is a sale pending and I’m getting ready to close the deal and completely sell myself out to the highest, or loudest, bidder. As I stop for a second to ponder this, a soft whisper flitters by, “Don’t sign anything.   You don’t need to change a thing. Where you are and what you do is just perfect for who you are. Your happiness resides is being true to yourself. So, before it too late, walk away from the deal, no matter how sweet it sounds!”

When I told my real estate agent that I decided to take my self off the market, she said, without skipping a beat, “Have you ever considered a short sale?”….. Don’t even go there!

Moving On

Image by Still Unique Photography

Image by Still Unique Photography

The fourth and final in a series of essays about my relationship with my 1970 Karmann Ghia.

Nothing ever stays the same. As the years rolled by, I finished college, got married, found a job, had a baby, and moved from California to Tennessee. During all these changes, I had my faithful Karmann Ghia. Though driving my Karmann Ghia while nine months pregnant was a challenge, I never once thought about selling it. Even after our son was born and there was no place for the car seat, I still never dreamed of getting rid of it. And though we lived in Tennessee and the car had no air conditioning, I never imagined I would part with it. Instead, we adjusted and my husband used it to drive to school, which we felt worked out just fine.

However, I don’t believe my Karmann Ghia felt the same way. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my car sensed it was time to move on. It knew it had served its purpose in my life and it was no longer the right car for me. My Karmann Ghia recognized that my needs had changed and knew it could not meet them. So, it did the next best thing, it found a car that could.

Without warning one day, my Karmann Ghia stopped running. The mechanic said someone had poured powdered sugar in gas tank which destroyed the engine. Unfortunately, we were living on a very limited budget, and could not afford to fix it. Then, lo and behold, my husband’s boss had a car he wanted to sell. It was a four door, LTD with air conditioning. When he heard about our Karmann Ghia, he offered to make a trade, which we accepted.

I have to admit that this was a very clever and well-orchestrated plan. I don’t know if I believe the part about the powdered sugar, but I do believe my Karmann Ghia unselfishly gave of itself to do what was best for me, one last time, and for a love like that I am forever grateful.

To this day, 30 years later, I still miss my car and I would give almost anything to see (and drive) it again. I have to admit that whenever I see a Karmann Ghia, which is rarely, I can’t help feeling an immediate Karmic connection. If at all possible, I go over to it and take a peek inside. It’s like seeing an old familiar friend. I know I said that nothing ever stays the same, but I was wrong because my love and appreciation for my unique little car is parked in that special “reserved” space in my heart…..where it’s always been.

%d bloggers like this: