Which Self?

Have you ever asked yourself….?

I know which one I want to hang out with….does that count?

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Our Inner Comedian

Sometimes it is helpful to take ourselves a little less seriously.

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Fickle Bird

Think on this….

Oh, silly ego!  I’m not listening….are you?

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Who Gets To Be In Control?

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There is a perpetual tug-of-war going on where I live. No, it’s not about the remote control; it’s about time. To be more specific, it’s about the present moment. The big conflict here is: who gets to decide how to spend this present moment? On one end is my ego, who wants to spend it either dwelling on the past or fretting about the future. It is relentless in its pursuit. It refuses to let go, it grabs, complains, and screams bloody murder if it doesn’t get its way. It has its finger constantly on the FEAR button, and likes to use phrases such as you should, you need to, what will people think, you’re being selfish, you’re gonna regret this, you should have, you really blew it, and so on. At the other end is my higher self. It prefers to spend the present moment in quiet, and would like nothing better than to hold down the mute button on my ego. It desires only to be fully present in this moment, being open and receptive to whatever is. There is no drama, no hurry, and no worries, just acceptance, awareness, and appreciation. My higher self believes confident nonresistance is the best way to “win”, though it never lets go of the rope. And my ego believes that cussing and pulling with all its might is the only way to “win”.  As referee, I have to say, that at this present moment my higher self gets to be in control. Now where is that mute button on the remote control?

Tell me, at this present moment, who gets to be in control where you live?

Opening the Door

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My higher, authentic, eternal self is always peaceful, free, happy, confident, loving, and trusting.  When I imagine what my true self thinks and feels about this present moment, it helps to shift my attention from my loud, fearful, negative, drama-loving ego to my quiet, peaceful, optimistic self and opens the door to perceiving and experiencing this present moment in a whole new way.

What door are you opening?

Self Mastery

Passing along a positive thought for the day….

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Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.
~Lao-Tsu

Jumping to Conclusions

Passing along a positive thought for the day….

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Jumping to conclusions mired in negativity only thwarts the process by which your mind can stay clear, and thus find a way your of the momentary dilemma.                                         ~ Neale Donald Walsch

A Success Story

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I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately.  And what I discovered surprised me.

In the beginning, all I had was a yearning, or perhaps it was more like a beckoning:  to nurture my creative side by pursuing my passion for photography.  This yearning soon expanded to writing insightful messages about my photographs, which expanded yet again to wanting to share these with others.  Following my bliss and doing what I felt I was meant to do, filled my soul to the brim with joy and peace.

Soon, however, a little nagging voice emerged saying that if I really wanted to experience fulfillment and satisfaction, then I needed to have a “real” purpose; one that involved something of true value and worth, such as earning money, helping others, and receiving recognition.  As I listened to this voice and believed it, a hole in my soul began to develop, and so down that path I went trying to fill it up.

I enrolled in an on-line “start your own photography business” course, got a logo, a Facebook page, a website, an Etsy shop, a Pinterest page, a blog, and hooked up with Fine Art America.  I read books about how to create the life you desire, took on-line courses, and read blogs and articles about how to get noticed in web searches and promote your business.  The more I learned, the more I realized how much I needed to do if I wanted to be successful.  I felt like a rabbit hopping quickly down the path chasing a carrot on a string that is always just out of its reach. I set goals, visualized, affirmed, and believed. I reached deep down and felt what it would feel like to be a successful still life photographer and blogger.  I did my part daily and trusted that the Universe was working in the background pulling it all together.  I believed that success was just around the corner, and that I would one day “get” there.

In the meantime, the hole in my soul grew wider. The joy and peace I once felt was slowly leaking away, until one day I woke up, empty.  Fulfillment and satisfaction were replaced with anxiety and inadequacy. I looked around for my motivation, but it was nowhere to be found.  I realized that my enthusiasm, joy, and contentment had suffocated in my pursuit of success.  Right then and there, I stopped, looked around and sensed that I might be on the wrong path.  As I contemplated this, several questions surfaced:

• What is it I really want?  A deep sense of personal fulfillment and satisfaction
• What is my definition of success?  Attaining specific goals such as making money, helping others, and having a certain number of Facebook and blog followers
• What is the relationship between those two answers?

Wait a minute….didn’t I experience personal fulfillment and satisfaction in the beginning when I was following my heart’s desire and doing what I enjoyed?  I wasn’t making money, helping others, or receiving recognition.  Right then and there, I realized that I had been duped and was on the wrong path!  I had bought into our culture’s definition of success.  I fell hook, line, and sinker for the belief that fame and fortune are not only more important than following your heart, but are also the true pathways to peace, fulfillment, and joy.  Not wanting to venture down this path any further, I quickly  gathered up my camera and tripod and headed back home.  To my surprise, when I arrived, I found my passion and my authentic self waiting for me.  As I wrapped my arms around them and held them to my heart, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be and my soul was once again filled to the brim with peace and joy.

From time to time, I believe we all wrestle with success.  What is your success story?

You’re Much Bigger than You Think

Ralph Clevenger

I know, I know…. you don’t want to hear this.  However, fear not.  I’m not talking about getting on the scale and seeing a number that makes you queasy or putting on your favorite jeans and getting a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because you can hardly zip them up. In fact, I’m not talking about anything physical at all.  I’m talking about that part of you that has always been and will always be; that part that existed long before you had a physical form and will exist long after the physical part of you is gone.

If you are like me, you probably live most, if not all, of your life on the surface, like the tip of this iceberg.  You identify almost exclusively with your thoughts and emotions.  Your happiness is largely dependent on your current life situation.  Most of your thoughts are either about the past or about the future. You may even live with a constant subtle feeling of dread or fear, of which you are hardly aware because it feels so normal.  Life is mainly about being successful and feeling accepted.  Like the tip of this iceberg which has no control of where it goes, you, too, may feel as though you have little control over your life. You may suspect there are forces acting upon you that you can’t specifically identify. At best, you try to go with the flow and hope to not hit too many grade 5 rapids along the way.

Maybe at some point you begin to question your limited “tip of the iceberg” understanding of yourself.  You explore more deeply within and discover there is another enormous part of yourself just below the surface.  Here you discover hidden beliefs which have had an incredibly strong influence on your life. When examined closely, you may find that many of them have not served you in positive ways and you begin to replace them with beliefs that do. You also may find old thinking patterns that have continued to replay in your mind, like an old eight track tape stuck on repeat.  You realize that those outdated patterns may have been helpful when you were a child, but now they are no longer needed.  You awaken to the fact that you have an ego, which isn’t the real you, but has been running “The Daily Drama Show”.  As you learn to step back and observe the ego, you realize that it thrives on creating fear.  It now has become painfully clear that your ego can no longer be a valuable source of wisdom for you and, in fact, you decide that the wisest thing to do is separate yourself from it.  And, as you learn to do so, you are delighted to find that you are much bigger than you thought. In fact, you feel a bit like the beggar at the city gates, who, hungry and dressed in rags, has spent his entire life sitting on an old wooden crate.  One day a traveler asks him what is inside his crate. Though he has never looked within, he is adamant it is empty.  However, because of the persistent encouragement of the kind traveler, the beggar agrees to pry it open. And, of course, we all know what he finds inside.

In the beginning of this great discovery, you spend much of your time moving up and down the iceberg.  There are times when you are back focused only on the tip of the iceberg, forgetting completely that there is so much more beneath the surface.  Fear creeps back in, as you get caught up in “The Daily Drama Show” of life.  Then, there are other times, when you sink below the surface and remember, with gratitude, that you are much bigger than you thought.  As time goes by you learn to keep more and more of your focus beneath the surface while allowing a smaller part to venture up to the tip.  Dealing with life’s situations now is so much easier because you are not totally invested only in what is happening above.

Yet, would you believe you are bigger still? As you remove yourself from the clutches of your ego mind, spend more time in the quiet below the surface, select beliefs that serve you, and replace old negative thinking patterns with positive truths and affirmations, you begin to sense there is yet another level of your self.  You become aware that there is a calm, powerful and perfect presence beyond the iceberg, of which you are part. There, you find the peace, fulfillment, and joy you have always sought through your life experiences. Like the beggar, you realize that what you wanted was always with you. As you contemplate this, you are amazed to discover that you are far bigger than you ever imagined.  You are not just the entire iceberg, you are the whole ocean, too.

The Head Judge

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I live with a judge who is a real hard ass; there is not a bit of leniency in him.  He scrutinizes every thought and passes judgment on my every move.  Though he has many pet phrases he likes to use, such as, what should you be doing, you better get busy and make some progress, you need to be doing something worthwhile, etc., his three favorite words are:  NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  These words echo in my head at least a hundred times a day.

The idea that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing is a totally foreign concept to him, especially if I am not doing something productive, which by his standards means earning money, helping others, or producing something useful. Unless I am actively doing one or more of these, then it’s just not good enough, and if I am not careful, he’ll pronounce with a bang that I’m not good enough.

Living with him is very stressful; I can never just relax and be.  I always feel I have to be working, improving, and moving forward.  Instead of a gavel, he uses guilt to control me.  He is constantly in my face telling me that I can’t slack off or I will never reach my goals and if I don’t reach my goals, then I’m a lazy failure. He warns that if I waste time, I’ll end up doing nothing of any value or worth, such as earning money or helping others. And if I do nothing of value or worth, then I have no value or worth.  He is ever so quick to remind me that I don’t want to end up like that!

This judge has a way of turning the idea of embracing my passion, expressing myself creatively, and sharing this with others into a forced labor situation requiring unrelenting perseverance on my part. There can be no breaks to read a book, or do something non-work related during the week.  Each moment needs to be centered on moving forward and pushing ahead. I have to be focused, to have a plan, and to accomplish something specific. By the end of the day, I better darn well make sure that I made some documented progress, or there’s gonna be hell to pay!

Needless to say, the judge and I are not getting along very well. It’s blatantly clear, that one of us needs to leave, and I know for damn sure, it’s not going to be me.  I’m done with his threats, guilt, and criticism. He’s managed to turn what was once a positive, joyful venture into a negative, nerve-racking chore.  I think he may be on to me because it looks like he has stepped out for a few minutes, probably to refuel. So if you’ll excuse me, I am going improve my situation, make some real progress, and accomplish something of true value and worth…. I’m gonna quickly pack up his crap and kick his ass outta here!